I snapped at Pat before.
He told me not to worry about doing the washing up. That he would do it.
That I have a lot going on right now.
I told him to stop being so fucking patronising.
If Pat was a dog, he’d be one of those dogs that has their tail permanently between their legs because they don’t now how you’ll react.
and of course, that makes hormonal me even more cranky because I am not that much of a damn monster.
He’s just pretty much avoiding me most ways he can, apologising for being in my way even when he’s not, giving me control of the remote every time I sit down and it is all driving me insane.
But I’m definitely not a hormonal bitch.
I’m just a tired blob that would like to sleep and eat and read and have people around me loving me, and maybe hugging me but not too much or too often because it will get hot and snuggle me in my sleep but not too much pressure because it pushes her and then it is uncomfortable and also don’t make me too hot and tell me that I am pretty without me asking how I look and “sure” isn’t an acceptable answer when I ask if I look okay – it needs to be something like “of course when don’t you look amazing let’s go have sex right now” but can the sex be spooning and just long enough but not too long because if we go for the too long then I get all touched out and it is hot and I just don’t want anyone near me, but stay close enough that if I want to snuggle you, I can.
I might be a bit hormonal.
I am tired.
And feel heavy. And my hips hurt.
And I feel like the pregnancy care people don’t really give a shit because the checkups consist of *check blood pressure* looks good, see you in 3 weeks.
No one has said “How are you feeling?” since the last time I saw a midwife at 12 weeks pregnant.
It’s not that fucking hard.
Also – we’ve decided on a name, but we’re not really telling people until we have her because I think my family might not like it and I don’t want to hear their negativity about it because I love it.
And my little sister is organising a baby shower for me, which is awesome – you know, now that I actually have enough friends here to have a baby shower.