I had a talk with Dex about sex today.
He asked me if I had any boyfriends when I was younger. I told him when I was in year 5 I had a boyfriend named Matthew Ashton. It lasted a few days. He asked me what happened and I replied “I think his friend told my friend he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore”
He said oh…. If he was your boyfriend for more than a few days would he be our daddy instead of Daddy? I answered and also gave him a question:
No… Because what needs to happen between a male and a female to make a baby?
He shyly says “that thing…!
I replied Sex. It is okay to say it Dex. It isn’t a bad word. It’s not a naughty word. I told him that when I was in year 5 I would have been about 10. I asked him why he thinks that if we were 10, why he couldn’t be a daddy and I couldn’t be a mummy.
That’s right. Because NO 10 year old should be having sex.
He says yeah, no 10 year old.
I told him maybe when he’s 14 or 15, he’ll want to have sex
I laughed and told him it was true.
That he might. He might find a girl or a boy And he’ll feel like he really likes them or even loves them, and that’s what sex is about – showing someone we really like or love that we love them And that’s why sex is good. But it is something we need to know we really want, and that the other person wants to.
That maybe one day he’ll be naked in bed with someone and kissing them, but if they touch his penis and he doesn’t want to, that he is allowed to say no. that just because he’s naked, doesn’t mean he can’t say no. And same goes for the other way round. That if he was in bed with someone and they were kissing and he wanted them to touch his penis, and they said no, that means no.
I said “what do we do when someone isn’t having fun?”
He answered me
And that’s why we have this rule.
They know it. They don’t always follow the rule all the time – they’re kids, they annoy the shit out of each other.
but I say it over and over again, to both of them. And I know that when it really counts – if someone isn’t having fun, they’ll stop.
We don’t say when someone says stop you stop. When someone’s not having fun.
Because not everyone will say no.
And I don’t want my child to be on either side of that.