I am assuming your children are somewhat like my children.
I am assuming this because I have vague recollections of this, a long long time ago when I was a child.
They accumulate shit. Just complete and utter shit.
Shall I list some of the shit they accumulate?
- My littlest petshop
- Fidget spinners
- Bey blades
- More shopkins
- Gross-ery gang
- Disgusting pets or whatever the shit they’re called
- Happy meal toys
Plus the usual Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh/Magic the Gathering cards that I can’t get that annoyed with because I too collect cards… but at least mine are fucking organised.
So they have alllll this shit right? Half the time they don’t even play with it. And I know they don’t play with it because I dig it from the depths of behind the spare mattress that is under the bed, wedged into the wall. They are fetched from the corner of the toy cupboard behind the toys they throw aside when they get their more favourite toys. Found behind the chest of drawers as they’ve inevitably been pushed further and further back by some new thing they’ve accumulated until they fall behind, forgotten and unloved.
Unloved until Mum tries to throw that thing out.
You would think that I have been trying to get rid of a precious gift, hand made by the most skilled elves of all the lands and personally presented to my child by the greatest fairy Queen that ever there was, from the protests I’ve received when they’ve realised that Mum is cleaning out our room.
In reality, I’ve gotten rid of some books (of which have been replaced by hard covers), some beadoz (another thing to add to the shit list) a puzzle with missing pieces, a piggy bank that has no stopper and a shit load of stuffed toys that haven’t been touched since mid 2015.
But they love them.
They need them.
I’m the best mother in the world when they see I’ve found them.
Right up until the point they realise it is going in the throw out box.
And that’s when I join the ranks of the mothers gone before me, who get rid of their children’s most favourite thing they definitely need and will always love forever.
Because let’s be real. They’ll forget about it again tomorrow.
*side note – why is it that Nanna, the same woman who never let you have any of those small collectables when you were a child is the MAIN contributor to these shit collections?! Yes Mum, I’m looking at you!