This week I just feel big.
Big and round and big.
How am I only 24 weeks?
I got hit on at the beach the other day.
By a woman. I was walking the dog that I get paid to hang out with a few times a week and the lady, patting Luna, says to her “You’re such a cutie! Almost as cute as your Mummy!” And looked at me.
To which I responded something about the weather and hastily moved on.
Not that I wasn’t flattered, I’m just not used to being hit on.A dog really is the best wing man.
I was recounting the story to a work friend and she said to me “How did she not notice you were pregnant?”
This is how.
Look at the ridiculous size of them.
Probably also the reason the guy at the service station asked if I was going to put a name in the banner and I replied no names, he said “You never know, might have children one day”
Because either a) can’t see my belly past them or b) there’s nowhere else to freaking look.
I’ve even given up trying to hide them or contain them. It is either they’re a bit uncovered or my tummy is a bit uncovered.
So they are 24 weeks. The elephants in the room. that my friends are too polite to say “HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THOSE THINGS”. These enormous things, probably the reason people say wait until you’ve finished having kids before getting your boobs done, because otherwise, you might accidentally shut them in a door or something like that.
Or, you know, your son will just ask you about your big fat boobies and if they’re going to get any bigger.
And scarily, the answer is yes, when your milk comes in.
Other than that, the only news to report is she throws a tantrum whenever I remove her foot from in my rib, because HOW DARE I be comfortable and she kicks around until I let her put it back there. And she has been playing a game with Lola with the torch – because babies can see and hear at this point, so Lola shines the torch in various places on my tummy until she kicks/hits that spot. They’ve also been reading to her which is super fucking cute.